Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
