is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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