why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize