This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
