Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
