he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
