Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We are two peas in an std pod
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
