i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
