forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
