Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
