You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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