Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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