So drunk its hurt
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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