Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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