and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
