Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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