you traded sex for a burrito?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
