What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
