oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
