You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
