I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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