Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
