We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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