Sponge bath it is.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
