there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
