Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
