I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
home. puking in laundry basket.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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