i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
