I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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