dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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