I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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