there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
