worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Are my feet made of real feet?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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