You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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