i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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