Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
