dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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