Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
