I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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