The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
