i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
