He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
