He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
