My cat gives me a boner
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
