if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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