Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
