New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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