please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i barfeds in our rink
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
