you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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