Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
