He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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