you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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