And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
