I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
