I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize