Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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