I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
