i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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