Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
