I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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