Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
