Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
