is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
