I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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